Friendship - in its FULL Essence

Di ba friendship is the most basic form of relationship? Parang most of the relationship is patterned from friendship. Sa mag-ina o mag-ama dapat may respect. Sa magkapatid, dapat may understanding to avoid fights. Even with the professor-student relationship, dapat you know each other’s boundaries. Sa mag-jowa, most basic, dapat may love. Pero the most common thing na dapat all of these relationships,just like friendship, should have – it should be a 2-way thing. Yes, there may be times that both of you should go the same way if the other one needs you. But if your friend needs you, hindi naman cia obligation pero you should be able to adjust din and try to go your friend’s way.

I feel bad when people tend to say you have no obligations to your friends (coz I’m more bias when it comes to my friends) kse prng nagiging less priority ang friendship pag sumingit na ang other types of relationship. Just becoz you have more obligation to be with your gf for example. Well in fact, wala naman kau kasulatan na kapag naging Gf mo cia you should prioritize her more than your friends. Ang kasulatan nyo lng naman ng parents nyo is your birth cert na wala namang na-state na you have an obligation to them. JUST LIKE FRIENDSHIP, gets? So bakit less priority ang friends?

Another common thing, just like in a romantic relationship, there’s always someone na mas into the friendship than the other. Di ba they always say na you love your partner better than your partner does or the other way around. Same as friendship, may mga taong super andyan when you need them, in good times and bad times but the other friend tend to just be there on good times (paminsan lang pag bad). Which is, I dunno, might be tiring for the friend who is most of the time doing the effort?

Can friends be jealous? I usually do, possessive ako sa friends. Mas possessive pa nga ata ako sa friends kesa sa jowa e. Of course, there are levels naman. Pro same as other relationships, jealousy is a demonstration of love. Yung fear na if your friend gets along with other people bka ma-take for granted ka na nya, things like that. And jealousy SHOULD NOT be misinterpreted always na nagf-fall na ung friend mo sau. Most of the time, it’s the attention and, as I said just few sentences ago, fear.

Have you felt abused or used by a friend? I did felt before. Akala ko nagiging friendly lang cia sa kin dahil I was able to understand ung problema nya and nakaka-help ako sa kanya. Well, there are friends naman talaga na ganun. It’s up to you kung how you react and you better gauge things correctly baka namimis interpret mo lang. This goes back to my point sa 2nd paragraph.

Selfish and selfless. Mahirap maging friends yang dalawang yan. May mang gagago at may magpapakatanga. It will end up na either or both e masasaktan. Much better kung minsan ung friend A is selfish and friend B is selfless tpos next time si friend A naman ang selfless at si friend B ang selfish. Pro hindi pa rin. Dapat both are selfless. Para walang (go back to paragraph 5).

And like any other types of relationship, pride should not go each other’s way especially during fights. No one should sleep na may galit sa friend. I honestly can’t sleep pag alam kong galit sa kin ung friend ko or galit ako sa friend ko o nag away kmi. Confrontational akong tao e. Coz most of the time you get to know your friend more when you’re fighting (as I always say, just like other relationships). And you get to fix things on the same day. But try to confront when the tension subsides na. And try to have an open mind so you could understand your friend and why naging ganun ung reaction nya or nasabi nya or whatever. And don’t forget to say sorry kahit hindi ikaw ung may kasalanan (of course kung ikaw naman tlga dapat ka magsorry) and try to tell your friend why you’re saying sorry. Sorry is synonym to please – it is a magic word. Difference lang, please makes something done, Sorry makes all mistakes undone.

Ang point ko lang with all that I have said is that friends are all those people that care for you (your parents, your sister, your brother, your boss, your partner) and those that you consider as friends should be treated the same way as everyone else. Walang, "friend ko lang naman yan", or "wala naman kaming relasyon", or "andyan lang naman cia e". The worst thing you could ever do to a friend is to disregard him dahil hindi mo cia kailangan and acknowledge him pag problemado ka. Spell Karma. I treasure my friends and they fill my bottle first before everyone else becoz I consider everyone important to me as my friends.

Waiting for a Cab

I used to say that the more you keep on looking for something in your life, the more it gets away. I was on my way to the office last Friday, and since it's not yet payday, i can't afford to get a cab. Instead, i prefer to ride an fx to makati which is 3 times cheaper than riding a cab and from my previous experiences, it is very hard to get a cab from our place. But on my way out from our street, I saw an available cab trying to get a passenger from our place but I ignored it. When I’m already at the main street, I saw 2 cabs just passed by without any passengers. Why do they have to fool me like this when during those times that I need them, they are nowhere to be found. Grrr

I just realized, well, trying not to get mad early in the morning seeing those cabs pass by, that waiting for a cab is like waiting for your partner in life. You assume all those that pass by you are available knowing in the end that either they are attached or just one of those people that does not want commitment. At my age, not that old as I claim, I get tired of just flirting around or having short term relationships. I can’t claim though that I’m mature enough to handle relationships but I believe I am capable of loving and maintaining that feeling (as long as my partner maintain the feeling as well). I guess it’s more of the mind than the heart that’s functioning (ok, some people may disagree; let’s just say 50-50). Coz before I’m more of the heart rather than the mind, that’s why I usually end up alone, crying, heart broken.

I’m not that good looking, I know, but it sometimes makes me rethink if it’s the looks or how I handle relationships that I can’t end up with the one I love. Coz I mostly see couples wherein I have better looks but they seemed happy. Isn’t it that I can’t make someone happy? Or his partner’s just happy with how he looks (ok that’s mean I know, I’m a bad person).

I use to watch sad movies when I feel bad just so I could cry, ALONE. That’s me torturing myself. But I feel better the next day, revived, replenished, and alive again. Ready for the next search. Should I search, or should I pretend not to look so that person will come along? Coz I’m afraid that if I stop searching and go with someone that is just there waiting for me, I might miss the one that I’ve been waiting for, just like the cab.

Chasing Pavements

I've made up my mind
Don't need to think it over
if I'm wrong I am right
Don't need to look no further
This ain't lust
i know this is love but
If i tell the world
I'll never say enough
Cause it was not said to you
And thats exactly what i need to do
If i'm in love with you

Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up
And fly around in circles
Wait then as my heart drops
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

On the Edge

They said that love can only be true
When the one you love loves you too
And with all the hassles of falling and breaking
Love will always keep to mend the feeling

We’ve been hurt before, been hurt many times
But we always go to that same situation and didn’t mind
Probably because we grow with the heartaches we’ve felt
And move on with the lessons we’ve learned

There may be times I would still cry
And end up searching for the one I used to like
But reality would always appear
That the one I used to love will never be here

I kept on asking, “what is my destiny?”
But no answer came, even in my dreams
So I just stayed and let myself go
To where the wind would bring me to grow.

I should have known where this feeling leads
But my heart is screaming what it really needs
To love and be loved in return
Though it always ends up on something I can’t repair

Keeping to myself all the sadness I’m feeling
Makes it harder for me to let go of this hurting
I can’t breath and eat, can’t even go to sleep
And gives me crazy thoughts of jumping off a cliff.

It hurts me to know that things won’t work out
It even hurts that it’s still you that I love
But I believe that everything’s gonna be fine
I just wanted you to still be there in that time.

I want to keep you in my arms tonight
I want to hold your hands and hold it tight
Coz it may be the last time that I could let you know
How much I love and need you so.